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Buyer beware, adopt if you dare! Fugglers are mischievous, misunderstood, funny-ugly monsters full of teeth and nightmares.
Why would you want one, you ask? We don’t know your life. Maybe you like sleeping with one eye open, or the idea of having your teeth stolen by a squinty-eyed creep is appealing to you. Maybe your life is too perfect, and you want to ruin that for some reason. Whatever your poison, we can make it happen.
Comes with an adoption certificate you can display proudly to alienate family and friends.
Look deep into the vacant eyes of all the Fugglers up for adoption. Narrow it down to the one that repulses you the least. Or the most – we don’t know your life.
Take a hot sec to consider why you’re actively sabotaging your own happiness.
Choose to adopt your Fuggler. When you do, we’ll follow his trail of destruction until we track that toothy weirdo down. He’ll probably be gnawing on chicken bones in a dumpster.
We will capture your Fuggler using only the most humane and one of the industry-leading Fuggler-wrangling techniques. The Fuggler will bite and fart outrageously.
We will persevere.
Your Fuggler will be forcibly stuffed into a Fuggler-proof cardboard traveling box and mailed to your home. He will try to escape that box, so don’t be surprised if it shows up at your door mangled as heck.
Remove your Fuggler from its box with great caution. Immediately regret your decision.
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